Laura Walsh Memorial

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Letter to Laura

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Dearest Laura, one of the loves of my life:

 

My life changed forever on August 10, 1975, as I welcomed you, a tiny 5 lb 12 oz baby, into my world.  After a difficult first month, we became best buddies and went everywhere together, tooling around in my big maroon Chrysler. Remember our first La Leche League meeting? My first real support group, they encouraged me to follow my instincts as a mom, as you taught me how to love. You helped me become a better mother to Jackie and David, as I learned to become a good mother for you. Because of you, I met one of my lifetime friends; remember meeting Brenda and Cindy?.

 

Then we were joined by your sister Jennie, born at home so you got to meet her minutes after her entry into the world. We became a threesome, inseparable, as we traveled around to buy eggs from the egg lady, raw milk from the milk lady and so on. Those were great times!

 

You had your first introduction to dance at 5 years, taking classes at D’Marge in Newton. That led to a lifelong love of dancing. Remember how concerned I was about sending you to kindergarten? It was so important to me that you would be raised with the Word of God as a foundation, so we sent you to Sussex Christian School. On your first day, I was ready to walk you to your classroom but you told me to just let you go in by yourself. I was so proud of you!  We met great people in the carpool, and Jennie was always happy to see you at the end of the day!

 

Although you enjoyed school, we decided to home school you and Jennie after a few years. We had great times learning together, going on field trips with other homeschoolers, becoming more involved in church activities.  I watched you become a beautiful dancer as you and Jennie returned to D’Marge for lessons and eventually dance competitions.

 

I also observed your servant’s heart as you volunteered for nursery, vacation Bible school, and other activities at Crossroads.  I was so proud of you when you completed the Missionettes program and received your crown as an honor star.

 

You transitioned into public high school well, although I was ready to home school you all the way to college. I loved attending the concerts at school; you loved to sing and participated in the music program all through high school.

 

I know times were difficult for our family and for you in particular. So dropping you off at Marist was difficult for us. I was happy when you decided to transfer to William Paterson University after your freshman year. Political Science was not your thing, so you pursued your interest in psychology and understanding human behavior. We attended your graduation with pride and thanksgiving for your achievement, and I was amazed at your discipline and determination to acquire your master’s degree in psychology, while working full time at Starbucks.

 

Jennie and I loved to visit you at your various apartments. Jennie was always sad to leave and often said she missed you. We were sad when your relationships with Jim and Chris didn’t work out. I was concerned about your anxiety and panic attacks which started when you were in college. The circumstances of our lives didn’t help, and I’m grateful for the times that I was able to be there for you, even if just to listen.

 

I remember how happy you were to get your job as a residence manager. I know you felt real compassion for your clients and a sense of fulfillment in being of help and service to others.

 

When I had to move from Culver Lake after 30 years, I was traumatized. You made the transition easier as you helped me move and stayed with us a few days.  I was blessed when you decided to move in with us the following year. I will never forget the morning cups of coffee in my room, the Frasier marathons, watching Christian Bale movies, especially one of my favorites, “Equilibrium.” We had fun fawning over our “little love” Cleo, sharing holidays and trips to visit family.

 

I cherish the times we spent together and thank God for blessing me with your life.

 

Now my life has changed again. Suddenly, unexpectedly. You passed from the cares and burdens of this world to freedom and rejoicing in heaven. Since March 18, nothing is the same. I miss you so much; I miss your smile, your voice, your presence in my life.  The void left by your passing can never be filled.

 

But I have peace in knowing you are finally whole, no more pain, no more sorrow. Although I will never see you again in this world, I look forward to our reunion in eternity.

 

I praise God for your life and I thank Him for the 33 years I was privileged to know and love you!

 

My love forever,

Mom

 

 

 

 

My beautiful,
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beloved Laura

Today, the end of October, I miss you so much. It's unbelievable how much. I wish I could hug you and tell you how much I love you and how you and Jennie were the loves of my life. You know the regrets I have; I wish I was more understanding, more sensitive to your needs. I wish I could have changed our past so you would have been happier.  The emptiness I feel from the lack of your presence in my life is so painful. The longing to hug you so frustrating . . . you are beautiful!